Your close to me when:

Portland Oregon just had a moment of sunshine this last week.  I took to opportunity to take Ffej's long board out for a ride and felt so close again to you Ffej.  It has taken me so long to contribute because your passing has been very difficult.  I realized that it has been hard to let go while kicking and cruising on your skateboard because you shared or taught me so many things for the first time.   We first met back when I was 14 years old getting my first lesson in skateboarding.  When we bumped into each other again years later you said that you remembered me because I winked at you the first night we met.  I don't remember winking or eye twitching but have always been grateful you thought so.  During our time together on this earth I will always be grateful to the many things you taught me: not to believe everything on TV or what is written, Quantum Physics, Butthole Surfers, Taoism, Plant Spirits, Mooning your Mom, Timothy Leary, Japan, Tofu, the sound of one hand clapping (literally,) and more recently how to handle loss, the beautiful awkardness of learning to grieve a being who so fully merged with my own self.  Thank you.